Stupid Cow

Somewhere in the middle of May, I decided to go to Italy. This British au pair had the same days off as I did and asked if she could come. I said yes. I don't know this girl very well but I 've met her at least 5 times and chat with her on MSN quite often.

She only had a Dutch PIN card and couldn't buy the ticket online so I bought it using my credit card .

Fast forward to today, and she STILL hasn't paid me back.

Italy was a disaster. She went to Italy with just 200 euro (for accomodation, train tickets, food, entrance tickets etc.) and I had to buy her the occasional sandwich and cigarrettes to shut her up. We didn't even go to the Vatican City because she was too poor.

I would have gone by myself BUT believe it or not, she wouldn't let me. She'd say stuff like "You're leaving me all alone?" or "We have to stick together. What if you get hurt? ". Stupid cow. And she did a lot of iritating things which I won't repeat here.

It's a really simple problem to me. IF YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY, DON'T TRAVEL! It's not like I invited her anyway! In fact, I wanted to go alone but was too stupid to say No to her.

So finally last Friday, I decided to be more aggressive and smsed her to return me the money to my boyfriend's bank account (since I don't have one). No reply. The next day, I sent her an sms asking if she received my first SMS. No reply.

A few hours later, I called her. No one picked up. Bitch was obviously ignoring my calls. Called again later with my boyfriend's mobile. No one picked up.

Called a few more times the following days, nothing. Sent an email to her.

Then finally ,yesterday I left her a voicemail. A very simple voicemail with a serious voice "Hi X, I'm calling about the money. I need it and would appreciate if you could bank it into that account number now. Bye".

A few hours later, she msged me on MSN (I was away) to say she'd go to the bank within an hour. I don't know if she really did. The only way to find out is to check René account tomorrow or Thursday.

If she still hasn't paid me back.. I really don't know what to do! 96 euro isn't THAT much but I could go to Budapest with that money. Mind you, she gets more money than me so it's not like she's starving or something.

I'm never lending people money again. I generally don't lend or borrow BUT I thought this was different as she didn't have a credit card. She told me so many lies and din't even have the decency to call and return me my money asap. I did her a favour , she took advantage of me.

Biatch.

Au Pairs

I get a lot of emails asking me for more information on this au pair business so I'll just answer your questions here:

Hours

How much you work depends on which country you're an au pair in and the agreement between your host family and yourself. In the Netherlands, an au pair is only allowed to work no more than 30 hours a week (not more than 8 hours a day) and must be given at least 2 free days a week. In the US, most au pairs work 48 hours a week (legal), no more than 25 hours in Belgium and 30 hours a week +2-3 evenings of babysitting in Italy.

Pay

Again, this depends on your host country. As of January 2006, theMINIMUM au pair wage in the European Union is 260 euro for 30 hours a week. However, some countries like the Netherlands and Belgium have higher wages . An au pair in the Netherlands MUST get at least 300 euro or a maximum of 340 euro a month for a 30 hour week . Au Pairs in Belgium get a significantly higher amount - EU au pairs get 350 euro a month for 25 hours a week while non-EU au pairs are paid 450 euro a month for a 25 hour week (in Belgium, the host family will have to open an account for the au pair and bank in the sum every month. They cannot give her cash). Au Pairs in America get a minimum of US$149.05 per 45 hour week.

That said, there are plenty of families who pay less or more than the official rate so it's up to you. When I was looking for a family, I was offered anything between 225 euro right up to 500 euro (for 44 hours) a month (all were willing to pay for the ticket, insurance etc).

Whatever it is, I'd advise you not to go lower than 260 euro a month. I get about 300 a month and I'm always poor.

You will NOT be able to travel (even with 300) so if you do, save up beforehand or get daddy's credit card. Or you COULD travel with your allowance but have to be a hermit when you're not sightseeing in another country (ie at least 26 days a month).

Housework

Official guidelines state that an au pair can only do child-related housework (ie. clean the children's bedrooms, simple cooking for the kids, children's laundry) but light housework such as vacumning etc is also accepted.

However, 'heavy' housework such as cleaning toilets/windows/ garden/spring cleaning/ ironing (unless it's the children's clothes) is not allowed unless the au pair is paid extra and she agrees to these 'assignments'.

Vacation

Besides your off days, au pairs in the Netherlands also get a minimum of 2 weeks paid vacation a year. In the US, the au pair gets the 13th month to travel. You usually take your time-off when your host family takes theirs. You can also choose to travel with your host family (if they invite you) but most au pairs prefer to travel by themselves/with other au pairs.

Language

Most families provide language courses (up to a certain amount). I believe au pairs have to pay for language courses in Italy but in USA, the family will legally have to pay $500 towards a course (any- language, law, glass-blowing whatever)of the au pair's choice.

Living Conditions

The family must always provide a private furnished bedroom for the aupair- preferably with an attached bathroom+toilet. This is her private space which the family cannot come in. The au pair must have access to internet/phone whatever. Most families also provide a certain amount of money to call home every month (varies between 10-30 euro in the Netherlands). The au pair usually eats with her host family (unless she goes out). She is to be treated like a member.
The family also provides food. Of course if you want to eat caviar, that's coming out of your money.

Travel Costs

Again, this depends on which country you go to. In the Netherlands, most families pay for AT LEAST half -if not for ALL- of your air ticket. This is usually paid back in installments/ upon your arrival/ upon completion of your contract. In the US, ALL au pairs have to go through an agency. Your flight ticket will also be refunded in installments. You will usually have to pay your ticket yourself if you choose to go to Italy/ Spain.

Friends

It's very easy to make friends. Remember that you're not the only who moved to another country alone. There are plenty of au pairs you can meet; either through the internet, at Dutch class or just simply at your children's school.

Insurance & Visa

The family pays for insurance and residence permit. Some families may pay for the pre-departure visa (MVV in Holland) but isn't a requirement.

Remember , the most important thing about being an au pair is to be FLEXIBLE.

It's up to you to take this guidelines and pick and choose what you'll be comfortable with.
In my case, I work 35-40 hours a week and do have to clean toilets and iron( approx 5 male shirts a week but I don't iron baby clothes) BUT I don't mind. Likewise, my family gives me random days off (in addition to 4 weeks vacation) plus a very generous mobile phone allowance etc. It pretty much balances out and I reckon I have a cool family.

Potential Non-EU, Non-developed Countries Au Pairs Read Here:

Be wary of families requesting au pairs only from poor countries. Most times, they want someone who'll do plenty of housework (like the Indonesian /Philipino maids at home) and will pay less than they should. They'll probably also treat you like crap.

It will be hard to find a family in Europe (America is easy because ALL au pairs have to go through the same procedure) so you will probably have to buy membership at one of the many au pair matching websites to get access to families' contact details.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DISCUSS HOURS, HOUSEWORK, HOUSEHOLD RULES, MONEY ETC. BEFORE BINDING YOURSELF TO A FAMILY. (this is to all Au pairs)