Stupid Cow

Somewhere in the middle of May, I decided to go to Italy. This British au pair had the same days off as I did and asked if she could come. I said yes. I don't know this girl very well but I 've met her at least 5 times and chat with her on MSN quite often.

She only had a Dutch PIN card and couldn't buy the ticket online so I bought it using my credit card .

Fast forward to today, and she STILL hasn't paid me back.

Italy was a disaster. She went to Italy with just 200 euro (for accomodation, train tickets, food, entrance tickets etc.) and I had to buy her the occasional sandwich and cigarrettes to shut her up. We didn't even go to the Vatican City because she was too poor.

I would have gone by myself BUT believe it or not, she wouldn't let me. She'd say stuff like "You're leaving me all alone?" or "We have to stick together. What if you get hurt? ". Stupid cow. And she did a lot of iritating things which I won't repeat here.

It's a really simple problem to me. IF YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY, DON'T TRAVEL! It's not like I invited her anyway! In fact, I wanted to go alone but was too stupid to say No to her.

So finally last Friday, I decided to be more aggressive and smsed her to return me the money to my boyfriend's bank account (since I don't have one). No reply. The next day, I sent her an sms asking if she received my first SMS. No reply.

A few hours later, I called her. No one picked up. Bitch was obviously ignoring my calls. Called again later with my boyfriend's mobile. No one picked up.

Called a few more times the following days, nothing. Sent an email to her.

Then finally ,yesterday I left her a voicemail. A very simple voicemail with a serious voice "Hi X, I'm calling about the money. I need it and would appreciate if you could bank it into that account number now. Bye".

A few hours later, she msged me on MSN (I was away) to say she'd go to the bank within an hour. I don't know if she really did. The only way to find out is to check René account tomorrow or Thursday.

If she still hasn't paid me back.. I really don't know what to do! 96 euro isn't THAT much but I could go to Budapest with that money. Mind you, she gets more money than me so it's not like she's starving or something.

I'm never lending people money again. I generally don't lend or borrow BUT I thought this was different as she didn't have a credit card. She told me so many lies and din't even have the decency to call and return me my money asap. I did her a favour , she took advantage of me.

Biatch.

Au Pairs

I get a lot of emails asking me for more information on this au pair business so I'll just answer your questions here:

Hours

How much you work depends on which country you're an au pair in and the agreement between your host family and yourself. In the Netherlands, an au pair is only allowed to work no more than 30 hours a week (not more than 8 hours a day) and must be given at least 2 free days a week. In the US, most au pairs work 48 hours a week (legal), no more than 25 hours in Belgium and 30 hours a week +2-3 evenings of babysitting in Italy.

Pay

Again, this depends on your host country. As of January 2006, theMINIMUM au pair wage in the European Union is 260 euro for 30 hours a week. However, some countries like the Netherlands and Belgium have higher wages . An au pair in the Netherlands MUST get at least 300 euro or a maximum of 340 euro a month for a 30 hour week . Au Pairs in Belgium get a significantly higher amount - EU au pairs get 350 euro a month for 25 hours a week while non-EU au pairs are paid 450 euro a month for a 25 hour week (in Belgium, the host family will have to open an account for the au pair and bank in the sum every month. They cannot give her cash). Au Pairs in America get a minimum of US$149.05 per 45 hour week.

That said, there are plenty of families who pay less or more than the official rate so it's up to you. When I was looking for a family, I was offered anything between 225 euro right up to 500 euro (for 44 hours) a month (all were willing to pay for the ticket, insurance etc).

Whatever it is, I'd advise you not to go lower than 260 euro a month. I get about 300 a month and I'm always poor.

You will NOT be able to travel (even with 300) so if you do, save up beforehand or get daddy's credit card. Or you COULD travel with your allowance but have to be a hermit when you're not sightseeing in another country (ie at least 26 days a month).

Housework

Official guidelines state that an au pair can only do child-related housework (ie. clean the children's bedrooms, simple cooking for the kids, children's laundry) but light housework such as vacumning etc is also accepted.

However, 'heavy' housework such as cleaning toilets/windows/ garden/spring cleaning/ ironing (unless it's the children's clothes) is not allowed unless the au pair is paid extra and she agrees to these 'assignments'.

Vacation

Besides your off days, au pairs in the Netherlands also get a minimum of 2 weeks paid vacation a year. In the US, the au pair gets the 13th month to travel. You usually take your time-off when your host family takes theirs. You can also choose to travel with your host family (if they invite you) but most au pairs prefer to travel by themselves/with other au pairs.

Language

Most families provide language courses (up to a certain amount). I believe au pairs have to pay for language courses in Italy but in USA, the family will legally have to pay $500 towards a course (any- language, law, glass-blowing whatever)of the au pair's choice.

Living Conditions

The family must always provide a private furnished bedroom for the aupair- preferably with an attached bathroom+toilet. This is her private space which the family cannot come in. The au pair must have access to internet/phone whatever. Most families also provide a certain amount of money to call home every month (varies between 10-30 euro in the Netherlands). The au pair usually eats with her host family (unless she goes out). She is to be treated like a member.
The family also provides food. Of course if you want to eat caviar, that's coming out of your money.

Travel Costs

Again, this depends on which country you go to. In the Netherlands, most families pay for AT LEAST half -if not for ALL- of your air ticket. This is usually paid back in installments/ upon your arrival/ upon completion of your contract. In the US, ALL au pairs have to go through an agency. Your flight ticket will also be refunded in installments. You will usually have to pay your ticket yourself if you choose to go to Italy/ Spain.

Friends

It's very easy to make friends. Remember that you're not the only who moved to another country alone. There are plenty of au pairs you can meet; either through the internet, at Dutch class or just simply at your children's school.

Insurance & Visa

The family pays for insurance and residence permit. Some families may pay for the pre-departure visa (MVV in Holland) but isn't a requirement.

Remember , the most important thing about being an au pair is to be FLEXIBLE.

It's up to you to take this guidelines and pick and choose what you'll be comfortable with.
In my case, I work 35-40 hours a week and do have to clean toilets and iron( approx 5 male shirts a week but I don't iron baby clothes) BUT I don't mind. Likewise, my family gives me random days off (in addition to 4 weeks vacation) plus a very generous mobile phone allowance etc. It pretty much balances out and I reckon I have a cool family.

Potential Non-EU, Non-developed Countries Au Pairs Read Here:

Be wary of families requesting au pairs only from poor countries. Most times, they want someone who'll do plenty of housework (like the Indonesian /Philipino maids at home) and will pay less than they should. They'll probably also treat you like crap.

It will be hard to find a family in Europe (America is easy because ALL au pairs have to go through the same procedure) so you will probably have to buy membership at one of the many au pair matching websites to get access to families' contact details.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DISCUSS HOURS, HOUSEWORK, HOUSEHOLD RULES, MONEY ETC. BEFORE BINDING YOURSELF TO A FAMILY. (this is to all Au pairs)

It's colder than a Turkey's Ass

I can't be arsed to write so I'll just post pictures. Sebas has an awful cold and sighs constantly like my grandad after a bowl of soup.

Óh the good news is: I am free from Thursday night (16th) right up til the 26th! 10 glorious days of freedom- of e-smelling freedom but still alas I can catch up on doing nothing (since I seem to feel horribly annoyingly busy the last few months). I was planning on heading to Turkey but our financial situation would make the IMF cry so 'vacation' for me is huddling under the covers with some chick-lit trash while René plays a game on computer And I actually want that! Well of course Turkey or Morocco or some other country would be heaps cooler but I guess Arnhem is OK and we can always go to Nijmegen for a look-see or perhaps a daytrip to Groningen or better yet, Maastricht.

For someone who 'can't be arsed to write', I've written quite a lot ,haven't I?

I'm absolutely shite at updating

Nearly 2 months since I arrived here.

Weesp is a lovely town with equally lovely people. Dutch toilets are weird. I like my room. The family is mostly nice and the baby hardly sleeps but is very smiley. I go to Arnhem during the weekend and Rene comes to Weesp on weekdays. So far so good.

The red light district fascinates me. All those gorgeous girls selling their bodies.

Had a lot of first-times here. We'll see.

Let's Talk About Democracy

Isn't this cheesy? It's strange that I'm somewhat a nationalist. I don't even share the same skin colour as the majority of Malaysians but I believe in it.

Westerners often criticise Malaysia for not having freedom of speech and democracy. Malaysia IS a democratic country , perhaps not the kind of democracy deemed acceptable by the majority of the western world but again, the majority of the western world does not understand the Asian(in general) society .

Malaysia holds elections every 4 years. No one forces anyone to vote for the ruling party. Perhaps the only problem is that none of the opposition parties seem to be able to rival the ruling party (i.e. no good plans, nothing) and this means that Malaysians don't have much of a choice. Except in Kelantan (the only state where the opposition is the ruling party; the opposition being a hardcore Islamic party).

Malaysia does practice freedom of speech -to a certain extend. To understand why it doesn't, you have to first understand the racial and cultural make-up of Malaysia. Malays and other natives currently make up 65% of the population. 25% of the population are Chinese Malaysians, 5% are Indian Malaysians and the remaining 5% are classified as "Other". At the time of independance, immigrant races (Chinese and Indian) made up 50% of the entire population. You can well imagine what a difficult situation this was. What country decides to give citizenship to such a large number of immigrants? Especially when the immigrants were (are) better off economically and socially.

I can't be arsed to type more. To be continued... one day.

I HAVE MY TICKET!

Amsterdam, here I come!

Picture Post

Goldfish at Sama-Sama Guesthouse (Melaka)

Nicole and I in Melaka

The view at Adam & Eve beach

From left to right : yours truly, Carol and Ju at Perhentians Islands

This was taken about an hour after Sebas was born. Isn't he adorable? I love babies!

Celebrate!

My exams are over! I'm free!

Til next week (when I start my internship with FEMALE), that is. So that's 5-5.5 days a week til December 24th and then it's off to the land of klompen, windmolen and the guy who cut his ears off (Van Gogh, everytime I try to pronounce that, I feel like a cat coughing out a hairball...).

I met Maartje on MSN today and she said Sebas cried a lot and lost weight last week. I hope Sebas is OK. Sometimes I get really scared that I'll be taking care of a 2.5 month old (that's how old he'll be when I get there). Here I am, having never even touched a baby since I was 10 (cousin) in sole charge of a 3 month old wrinkly bundle. It scares me. But I was honest with the parents and they told me that they're first-time parents and they had to learn everything from scratch too. They said that they would teach me and supervise me the first week (Maartje goes back to work in January) and that I can call them anytime (Maartje works only 100 metres away and Walter's 10 minutes away). I know I'll take good care of the baby , I just really hope it doesn't suddenly get sick or something (you never know with babies...).

I sometimes wonder why this family picked me. I reckon I'm more expensive than an Eastern European au pair (air ticket +visa =1700 euro) and I dont' have a lot of experience. At one time, I wondered if they really were a real family or a sex ring or something . Now I've seen pictures and have talked to them, I'm sure they're real. Actually I know it'll all be OK and I'm just so excited about it!

Now all I have to do is write some query letters to some magazines so that I get a regular column . I mean, wa-hey, I know I live a great life! How many Malaysians get to do this or have the guts to do things like this? Pretty much none;) W00t.

OK this is boring but I love R so much:) He's the best guy ever.

Hermit-dom

I have to make a confession.

I spent 6 straight hours watching Sex in the City on DVD. It looks like I've finally achieved it. I'm a hermit of terrifying proportions. I'll grow old and the kids in the neighbourhood will know me as the weird old lady who pushes a cart filled with garbage and plastic bags and who owns 10 cats.

I finally found a copy of Citta Bella at myNews cafe on Friday. Pardonnez moi but since when do English-speaking/writing journalists get sent to Chinese-language magazines? Especially when said (future)journalist can barely write her name and speaks a total of 3 words (i.e. ni how ma) ? Just because I'm the only eejit in class without a Christian name doesn't mean I eat out of porcelain bowls and wear red *grmbl*.

It's October 3rd atm and I'm wondering about my au pair family. I haven't heard from them for a few days and I think it's because she's given birth! woot. I can't wait to see pictures :D

3 in the morning. Can't sleep. blaat. Just got off the phone with Julz(she never sleeps til 5am everyday;) )

i'm bored. bored. bored.